Learn with Lern pt.1

Learn with Lern pt.1

Posted by Lauren Moore on

To everyone that thinks this Is a gardening blog full of wisdom and inspiration, you’re in the wrong place. I am sorry. This blog will make you shake your head in disappointment because, to be quite honest with you, I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing and haven’t got the first clue about how to garden. So, to all the passionate gardeners out there, I am truly, truly sorry.

Now, you would think being a farmer’s daughter who grew up on a farm that helped vegetables, cereals and many little animals to grow, I would have a slight inkling in how to produce a plant, but I don’t. My childhood was spent feeding pet lambs, my teenage years were filled with learning how to put as many beauty products onto my face as humanly possible. And now that I have entered adulthood, I have realised there is more to life and I have decided to get into gardening! 

I live in the city centre of Glasgow, so there isn’t much room for outdoor gardening. When my boss suggested we start growing some plants in the office I nominated myself and dived right into the world of gardening. She brought me to our nearest B&Q and I very quickly realised the extent to of my gardening ignorance. Seasons had a ginormous impact on which plants grew? I now realise that this is something  100% should have known being a farmers daughter… Some like loads of water, others hate it.  Acid soils, alkaline soils, heavy soils lights soils, sun, shade - the list is, apparently, endless. An hour later we left the shop with onion sets (googled to see why we were buying mini onions), strawberry seeds, chilli seeds, lettuce and sunflowers. We also picked up compost, pots and a propagator (a lot of googling was done during this trip). 

Once back at the office and with quiet concern about my freshly painted nails, I added compost to a tray and planted my onion sets. With the understanding that they had to be planted 5–10 cm apart. I popped them in, ensuring the root was the facing downwards and not upwards.

I then planted the rest of the seeds in pots, fired in some water and prepared myself for a wait before some green leafy thing would appear.  A week on, the onions looked absolutely stunning. My lettuce on the other hand…wasn’t looking so great. During the planting stage I may or may not have knocked over both pots causing seeds and soil to fly all over the office (I’m known to be quite clumsy. I fall regularly.) So the lettuce is gone, dead, donesies. The chillies and tomatoes were showing some signs of life with a small sprout here and there. The strawberries were showing absolutely none. I actually wondered if I had put any seeds in at all.


The following week I was on holiday. I left my plants in the capable hands of a trusted colleague. While on holiday I received plupdates (plant updates). At the start of the holiday, these plupdates were mostly positive and regular. However, as the holiday went on, they became less and less.  My colleague started to ignore my texts and I feared the worst… I got back from my holiday, my heart sank and the tears fell… Not literally, but I was sad. One look at the onions and I could tell they just were not coping, they had gone mouldy. GUTTED. One sunflower had died, but the other was doing tremendously. Tomatoes were wonderful, as predicted but my chillies were not doing what was expected of them. Although they had grown, they had kind of gone flat and fallen down either side of the pot. I found comfort in telling myself this is what chillies are supposed to do… 

As for the strawberries… it turns out that I hadn’t planted any seeds. My boss found a full pack of strawberry seeds, unopened behind my desk. 

So you have reached the end of my first learn with Lern blog. I have really enjoyed my first month as a gardener and I’m hoping I can learn more. If anyone has any advice on how to improve my skills (firing my colleague is not an option *cries*) please leave me a comment! Also if anyone has any advice on plants that grow in offices please let me know! 

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